How to find the right relationship counsellor for you and your partner

Making the decision to reach out to a couple’s therapist or clinical sexologist for help in your relationship is a very courageous step. But how do you find the right counsellor?

How do you know which therapist will be best for you and your partner?

There are many factors to consider when identifying the right relationship counsellor for you. It’s important to make sure that your counsellor and you are a good fit. And remember, you don’t have to ‘stick’ with the first therapist you see.

There are many different therapy styles, and each therapist has a unique personality and way of conducting their sessions. The most important consideration is how you feel after your first session.

How should a therapy session make me feel?

There are times where it’s going to be emotional, and draining, and challenging. That is the purpose of therapy – to help you face some of the most challenging obstacles in your life, and to find a way to overcome them. So every session is not going to be ‘comfortable’, or ‘easy’.

BUT, you do need to feel safe, and supported by your therapist. There are going to be times where you are very vulnerable, and you need to feel like you can share personal and intimate information with someone you really trust.

Your therapist is going to go on a journey with you, so make sure you feel like they will be a good guide. After your first session, evaluate how you feel and decide whether or not you would like to seek help from someone else, or continue your journey. If you leave your session feeling challenged, that is not necessarily a negative thing.

A good therapist will help you develop the skills you need to navigate through this journey.

What are some of the things to consider when looking for a therapist?

If you’re seeking individual counselling, then consider these ideas for yourself. If you’re looking for a couple’s counsellor or relationship counsellor, then you and your partner should consider these points together:

1. What type of counselling are you looking for? A couple’s counsellor, a sexologist (this is someone who mainly deals with sexual trauma and sexual dysfunction for individuals and couples), a personal therapist, or someone to help you through a difficult patch in your life?
2. Have you asked for any recommendations for good counsellors from friends/family?
3. Have you done some research on counsellors in your area? Have you read their blog/website/social media accounts to find out what they are about, and whether or not you think you could work well together?
4. Have you considered tele-therapy? This way, you don’t need to be in the same city/country as your therapist, and you can attend counselling sessions from the comfort of your own home.
5. Have you ever been to therapy before? If so, did you have a positive or negative experience? If you had a negative experience, don’t allow this to cloud your current pursuit of a therapist. Every therapist has a different style of counselling, you just need to find someone who suits you and your needs.

Just like finding a doctor, dentist, or even a car mechanic, you may need to try more than one therapist to find a good ‘fit’. Don’t let one negative experience with a therapist affect your overall view of therapy.

A therapist can help you and your partner navigate some of the toughest times in your relationship – and you CAN come out stronger and more fulfilled in the end. You just need to find the right counsellor to go on the journey with you.

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