When ‘life’ happens: 3 Ways to help bring order to the chaos

Every relationship goes through ups and downs. ‘Life’ happens. Kids happen. Finances happen. Work happens… It’s what we do when ‘life’ happens that really counts.

• Do you feel like your schedule is a bit chaotic right now?
• Does Monday arrive faster every week?
• Do you feel like you and your partner are living past each other?

If you answered ‘yes’ to any of these questions, you’re not alone!

So many couples tell me that they need balance in their lives and connection in their relationship. I know exactly how they feel. Life seems to happen faster and faster, and we hardly get any time to have fun or make memories together.

So how do we bring back the balance when ‘life’ starts to impact our relationships?

Adding some structure to your day will help immensely. If you want to have free time, you need to plan for it!

Here are 3 simple things you can do to bring back a sense of balance to your life and your relationship:

1. Schedule some ‘alone time’ for you and your partner

We all need a break from reality once in a while. If you and your partner need a getaway, check the calendar for the next long weekend, and book it off immediately. Don’t allow work or kids to get in the way of your time together. It’s not ‘selfish’ to have some time away from your responsibilities, it’s critical for the health of your relationship.

If you can’t afford to go away, then make your long weekend special while spending time together at home. Plan a picnic in the garden, or an outing to your favourite restaurant. Watch a sentimental movie, and spend quality time reconnecting with each other.

2. Draw up a duty roster

When the household chores and duties are planned out, you will feel far less rushed and overwhelmed. Make sure that the duties are shared out evenly, and that everyone in the household contributes according to their abilities. If the kids are old enough, get them to clean their own rooms, pack the dishwasher, or even make their own school lunches.

On a Sunday, plan the next week’s activities and extra-murals, and set digital reminders for you and your partner to collect kids from school.

Share your calendar with your partner so that you can plan around evening meetings, school concerts, family dinners, birthday parties, and other responsibilities.

Try to find one evening in the week where you and your partner can spend some alone time together – even if it’s just for a couple of hours!

And if you’re really busy, don’t forget to schedule time for sex too. This might sound unromantic, but this will help ensure you and your partner maintain your intimate connection instead of just feeling like ‘busy housemates’.

3. Plan your menu

Having a set menu every week saves a lot of stress when it comes to grocery shopping and trying to think up meals at the last minute!

For example, Monday night can be pasta night, Tuesday can be chicken and vegetables, Wednesday can be stuffed potatoes etc.

If you do your grocery shopping over the weekend, you will feel far less rushed and overwhelmed during the week.

These are just three simple tips to help you feel more in control of your day-to-day life.

This will free up some time and space in your day to send your partner a message to say ‘hi, I’m thinking of you’, or just to spend a few minutes relaxing alone – you deserve it!