Leandie Buys Realtionship Therapist & Clinical Sexologist

The talk for kids 0-5 years

When your children are young, you can start by explaining sex in a very simplistic way…..

Where do babies come from?

All children want to know the answer to the question: “where do babies come from?” This is a great opportunity to explain the value of sex between two loving adults – adults who love each other so much that they want to make a baby together.

By the time your kids are three years old they will already know that boys and girls are different. You don’t have to go into great detail at this age, just explain that boys have a penis and girls have a vagina and breasts. 

Call a spade a spade

Explain it to them as you would explain ears, knees, eyes and elbows.  Make sure you use the proper names for everything because using “cute” names for these parts of the body creates an impression that it’s wrong to talk about them. It perpetuates shame and embarrassment. 

Appropriate reactions are necessary to ‘exploration’

If you catch your toddler “exploring” his or her friend, talk to them gently about it, find out their reason for it and then lead them into a discussion about it.

Tell them to rather ask you when they are curious about boys and girls, so that you can explain it to them properly.

Mostly, kids just want to know that they are normal and that they look like their friends.  They want to compare themselves to others and be able to say that they look alike or they don’t. This is normal.

Teach your child to say ‘no’

By the age of five, kids should feel comfortable talking about their bodies with their parents. They should be taught to say “no” to unwanted touches from adults, and should know the physical differences between boys and girls.