Relationship stuck on repeat? 8 resolutions to rekindle the spark
For many of us, the beginning of a new year starts with new year’s resolutions.
We make resolutions about what we would like to achieve… better health, losing weight, cleaning out that junk drawer, or maybe even learning a new skill. But have you ever considered making some new year’s resolution for your relationship?
If you're feeling like you and your partner are stuck on “repeat”, or the sparks aren't flying like they used to, it's the perfect time to shake things up.
Remember, a happy relationship is key to being happy in other parts of your life too. No amount of spinach smoothies or spinning classes can fix a communication breakdown.
So why not work together with your partner to set some goals and resolutions to take your relationship to the next level this year?
Here are some ideas to get you started, but feel free to get creative and tailor them to your own unique relationship.
1. Keep communicating!
This will always be number one on my list. Good communication is everything in a relationship, but even the most ‘solid’ couples can end up just living like efficient roommates if they aren’t careful to keep sharing their lives with each other. Make sure you and your partner have some ‘catch up time’ every day where you can chat about your day-to-day stuff as well as your dreams and fears.
2. Prioritise sex and intimacy
Scheduling sex doesn’t sound romantic, but research shows that it is one of the ways that couple maintain their intimacy, especially in long-term relationships. Sex educator, Emily Nagoski researched this idea, and shared her insights in a TED talk, “Couples sustain a strong sexual connection for a lifetime when they prioritize sex… They decide that it matters for their relationship. They choose to set aside all the other things that they could be doing - the children they could be raising and the jobs they could be going to, the other family members to pay attention to, the other friends they might want to hang out with.” You can watch the talk below:
3. Carve out 'us time'
Life gets crazy! Between work, kids, and everything else, it's easy to forget to spend quality time together. But ‘us time’ is so important. It’s where you get a chance to catch up, where you encourage each other, listen, laugh, and remember why you fell in love in the first place. This year, make a decision to create more time for date nights with your partner. It doesn’t have to be elaborate and expensive dinners out… just quiet evenings with no distractions.
4. Deal with issues head-on
Don’t ignore problems in your relationship and hope that they are going to go away by themselves. This only leads to frustration and rejection in a relationship. If you and your partner aren’t able to work things out by yourselves, one of the best things you can do for your relationship is seek counselling. A therapist can offer a neutral point of view, and can help you both plan a healthy, constructive way forward.
5. Tackle a project together
Whether it's redecorating a room, tidying up the garage, saving up for an overseas trip, or trying out a new hobby, working on something as a team can really strengthen the bond between you and your partner.
6. Don’t take each other for granted
You’re a team, and both of you are taking on different tasks to make your relationship work. When you see your partner doing something well, thank them and acknowledge their efforts. Think back to the days when you were dating, and try to treat them with as much appreciation now as you did then.
7. Make each other a priority
The little things matter. Remember birthdays, anniversaries (this goes without saying), and things like an important meeting at work or do a chore that makes your partner’s day a little easier. This shows that you are really interested an invested in your life together. Surprise them with their favourite treat, or just send a sweet text in the middle of the day to let them know you’re thinking about them.
8. Rekindle the romance
Long term relationships can sometimes feel a bit ‘stale’ because you fall into a comfortable, predictable routine. Shake things up and try something new with your partner, or revisit the most memorable moments that you had together. Think back to what first made you fall for each other. Recreate your first date or revisit that spot where you first said, "I love you." It's all about bringing back those butterflies.
Use these eight resolutions to help take your relationship to the next level this year.
And if you need a little help to work on difficult issues in your relationship, don’t be afraid to ask for help. My passion is to help couples build strong, supportive and long-lasting relationships. Over the years I’ve seen thousands of inspiring success stories! So here's to a year full of love, laughter, and loads of good times together!