Has Money Ever Caused A Rift In Your Relationship?

Money can make the world go round, but can also cause couples to fight, feel inadequate or even insecure!

In my practice, I often find that men complain that their partners overspend all the time and can’t stick to the budget. Women then complain that their partners think that food prices are the same as two years ago, and they hate having to ask their partners for money.

Here is what Paul Leonard from Money Talk had to say about relationships and money:

Money can be a very touchy subject in a relationship. Some have called it the last taboo – saying that people are often more willing to talk about their sex life than about their money.

The two individuals that make up a couple may have very different views on money. These views will have been influenced by their experiences while they were growing up, for instance did they see their parents or other role models using money responsibly or foolishly, were they taught good stewardship or were they spoiled?

Their views will also be influenced by their inherited money personalities – you could have two children growing up in the same family, one will be a saver while the other is a spender.

Very often an attitude toward money is symptomatic of another underlying issue which could be the need to for power or affirmation; it could demonstrate insecurity or an attempt to buy love.

There are many useful money management techniques that couples can use. They need to find which ones work best for them as a couple. For example many couples have an “OURS” account for all of the household expenses, and then they have “yours” and “mine” accounts for their own spending money. However, as with many issues around relationships if the relationship is to survive then there cannot be financial infidelity. The most important ingredient is open, honest and transparent communication about family finances.

Paul highlighted nine “money personality” types and how they deal with finances. Have a look through these short descriptions and see if you can identify you and your partner in them.

• Entrepreneurs - Entrepreneurs will take risks with their money to achieve a business or financial goal. They are motivated by the opportunity for greater growth in their investing and continually set higher and higher goals.
• Hunters - Hunters feel most confident if they seek guidance and structure in their money management and investing. They tend to worry about money, their financial security and what is most appropriate for them.
• High Rollers - High Rollers are highly stimulated and motivated to excel financially. They seek out a challenge and are willing to risk for the chance of achieving greater financial gain. Their approach is generally creative.
• Safety Players - Safety Players prefer a cautious and arms-length approach in their money management. They avoid the chance of losing money in investing and make financial security a goal in investing.
• Achiever - Achievers enjoy being highly involved in handling their money and investments. They prefer a conservative approach which prevents losing money. Generally, they are proud of how they managed their money.
• Perfectionists - Perfectionists are very thorough and particular in managing their money. They worry about making a mistake in investing their money and are careful to protect against a potential mistake or financial loss.
• Money Masters - Money Masters enjoy conserving their money and are motivated by value. They prefer to be very practical and pride themselves in making wise investments. They feel best when they are involved in managing their money.
• Producer - Producers believe in working hard to earn a living and assure financial security and peace of mind. They generally profit from guidance in investing and money management to reach their financial goals.
• Optimists - Optimists prefer to avoid financial stress and worry in their money management and investing. They are motivated to maintain a feeling of peace of mind and are positive and confident about their future.