Back to Basics - 5 Rules for Great Sex

If your relationship has hit a rut, and sex between you and your partner has become more of a “chore” than an exciting activity, you and your partner need to go back to the basics. Forget the routine! Forget about work, the kids, the bond payments and take your mind back to the very first time you made love… now think back to the very first time you reached climax together… if you haven’t done that in a while, it’s time to get back to the basics.

1 – Take it slow

Men, remember that even though you are ready for sex the moment your partner shows any interest, it takes the average woman 15 minutes of foreplay before her body is ready for intercourse. Remember to spend time touching, smelling and tasting each other – outercourse before intercourse leads to a much more pleasurable experience for both of you.

2 – Pleasure him, pleasure her

Human behaviour sees us “doing to others what we would like done to us.” During foreplay, women prefer kissing and touching (not on the genitals) and therefore, they often neglect to stimulate their partners during foreplay. Men, however love to have their genitals stimulated during foreplay, and so their natural instinct is to try to pleasure their partners in the same way. This often leaves the woman feeling “objectified” and unsatisfied with sex. Discuss with your partner what they should and shouldn’t be doing during foreplay. Don’t just say “don’t touch me there,” follow that up with a suggestion such as “I really like it when you hold me here…”

3 – Look sexy, feel sexy

Ladies, even if you’ve had a long day at work or have spent the whole afternoon cleaning up after the kids, you need to make yourself look sexy before you feel sexy.

If your partner has planned a romantic evening for the two of you, make sure you spend some “me” time with yourself before going out. Pamper yourself with a relaxing bubble bath, wear something that emphasises your best features and put on some heels. Knowing that you look good will help you feel good, and feeling good will help you to forget about the long day you’ve had enjoy the rest of the evening.

4 – Be the initiator

Men will be much more obliging in the foreplay department if they know their partner really wants to have sex. Men often think that their partners are just humouring them, and want to get it over with as soon as possible. Ladies, if you want your partner to be more intimate and put more effort into pleasuring you, be the initiator. Take charge and tell him exactly what you want, where and when. He will love the new “game” and you will have the opportunity to teach him how to treat you in bed.

5 – Keep it interesting

Toys aren’t just for kids. There is a wide range of tantalizing adult toys on the market today. Toys range from edible body paints and flavoured lubricants to vibrators, penis rings and fantasy toys for the more adventurous couples. Toys can be discreetly purchased online and will certainly add a new dimension to your intimacy and foreplay.