8 Ways to help make the December holidays less stressful
It’s finally the end of the year, and what a year it has been. As the pandemic continues to affect lives across the world, we’ve all faced numerous challenges this year.
If you’re able to take a break over the season, then make all the effort you can to ensure it’s valuable time spent relaxing and recovering. Many of us have experienced some of the most stressful years ever since the pandemic hit in 2020. It has affected our physical and mental health, and having a few weeks to spend with loved ones will help to reset, and get ready for the year ahead.
However, in many families, with December comes Christmas chaos! The kids are on holiday, the family puts pressure on you to visit or host, and what you thought would be a good ‘break’ from work and everyday stress becomes even more stressful. And then your holiday is over in a few days, and you’re back to the grindstone.
I feel the same
It’s wonderful to have a break, and a chance to prepare for the new year, but I often end up still being exhausted in January because the ‘holidays’ are so full of activity that I never actually get a chance to relax. Do you ever feel the same?
I cannot stand going to the shopping malls at this time of the year. Every December, I promise myself that I’ll get all my gift shopping done by November the next year, but I never get around to doing it… and I always end up stressed out and frustrated right at the beginning of my ‘holiday’. So this year, I’ve decided to do gift shopping online, and to only visit the malls when I need fresh produce.
I’ve chatted to many of my patients about how they often feel overwhelmed by family pressure and expectations from the kids at this time of the year. So I’ve put together a plan that you and your partner can adapt to your situation to help make December less dreadful, and less stressful!
1. Put together a list of activities
Get everyone in the family to write down a list of things they would like to do this holiday. Then plan around these activities and coordinate schedules so that everyone feels like they got to do something ‘fun’. Put this list on the fridge so everyone can see what is happening, and when.
There is nothing worse than planning some ‘me time’ only to find out at the last minute that hubby is playing golf, and you have to transport a bunch of teenagers to the movies. Try to share lifts with other parents if you’re taking the kids to various activities. Technology helps a lot. Share your Google calendars and block out time for each of you.
2. Duty roster
Meals, dishes, and housework still need to get done. Ensure that all members of the family contribute towards the household duties so that you aren’t left doing them all! This can also be part of the calendar that you share. Put together a duty roster, and make sure that everyone sticks to it. Kids can visit friends, and enjoy some time playing online games only after they have completed their chores.
Another idea is to prepare some meals ahead of time and freeze them. Make things like bobotie, mac and cheese, and lasagne for when unexpected guests come over, or when you just want a ‘night off’.
3. Friends and family
Don’t feel bad about asking friends and family to chip in when you host. You may have an ideal space to host parties and braais, but don’t feel like you also have to provide all of the food and refreshments when people visit. It has been a tough financial year for everyone, and asking your friends to bring their own drinks, or to bring a salad and their own meat for the braai does not make you a bad host!
After all, this is all about spending quality time with friends and family. It’s not just about the food.
4. Budget
This is the worse time of the year for your bank account! Free time means activity time, and activities cost money! Movies, outings, restaurant excursions etc… end up on the credit card, and make the beginning of the year a very stressful time.
This year, set a budget for each week. Once that money is gone, it’s gone. Get the family together to discuss the budget and the activities, and fit in what you can afford. There are many free or budget-friendly activities to do in our city: Going to the beach, spending time with friends, going for a walk, biking etc.
When setting your budget, keep in mind that January is expensive! You have to buy new school clothes and books and pay school fees. Keep this money aside so that you don’t have to stress in January.
5. Me-time
Why is it that we always want everybody else to be happy, and to do things that they love, while we always put ourselves last on the priority list?
It has taken me many years, but I have learned that I also deserve to have some “me time”. This is when I truly relax and recharge, and I know that it helps make me a healthier, better person overall. I don’t feel guilty about it anymore. I schedule my ‘me time’ and I don’t let anything get in the way of it.
6. Soul searching
This has been such a difficulty year. Make sure you schedule some time with yourself to sit back and reflect. Think about everything that has happened – the good and the bad. You can even make a list. Try to look at the blessings as well as the frustrations. Look at the people in your life, and who has made a positive impact on your life this year. Be sure to reach out to them and acknowledge their input.
If you have experienced some changes in your life this year, look inside you and not outside to what has happened. What can you learn? and what will be different from now on forward?
7. Set achievable goals for the new year
I asked a friend what her goals are for 2022 and she said “same old same old”… lose weight, drink less, exercise more, find a new hobby. Sound familiar? How often do we really achieve these goals? Most of us lose interest half way through January!
My advice for the new year is to set goals that focus on your emotional, physical, mental and spiritual well-being.
For example, if you want to improve your emotional wellbeing, seek help from a therapist or life coach. This way you can work through your traumas and past baggage to help gain some new direction and perspective in your life.
If you’re wanting to improve your spiritual wellbeing, then sign up for some online courses (there are loads of free ones), or download an app on your phone that prompts you every day.
Do just one small thing to improve yourself every day. Don’t try to focus on too much at a time.
8. Relax, revive, have fun, treasure special moments amongst the chaos
I have heard so many people saying that they need a holiday after their holiday, and what is the point of that?! You deserve time to relax, revive and have some fun this holiday. Don’t be afraid to ask for help from friends and family so that you can tackle 2022 head-on!
My wish is that you have a fabulous festive season and if you are travelling, drive and arrive safe. And remember to:
- Lie - Lie in bed a little longer
- Steal - Steal some time and get together
- Cheat - On the budget (A LITTLE!!!) and spoil yourself
- Divorce - From your office