7 Tips to handle family, kids, and stress during the December holidays

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I can’t believe it’s December already. Every year, I feel like time goes by more quickly, but this has really been a whirlwind year!

And even though it’s felt so ‘short’, we’ve crammed so much into 2024. And it’s not just me who feels this way. Everyone I speak to is feeling exhausted, and looking forward to a little break in December.

But for many of us, December is also a very stressful time.

We may have a few days off work, but that doesn’t mean things get easier. There’s pressure to socialise, spend time with friends and family, entertain the kids, and try to get to all the house maintenance, or admin we haven’t managed to do over the course of the year.

If you’re feeling the holiday pressure, you’re not alone! One of the things you can do is talk to your partner about what both of you are expecting from the holiday season. Make sure you're both on the same page to avoid  unnecessary stress or disappointments. This will help make the holiday time more enjoyable for everyone

Here are 7 practical tips to help you enjoy the season and find some moments to reflect on the year that’s gone by.

1. Set boundaries with love

The holidays and festive season often come with friends and family expectations that add unnecessary stress and pressure to your life. It’s important to set boundaries right from the start.

Chat to your partner about how much time you would like to spend socialising, how much time you would like to spend together, and how much time you would like to commit to your close family. Share your calendars with each other so that there aren’t any surprises, and you can plan ahead.

When you feel like things are starting to get overwhelming or there are too many expectations, politely but firmly communicate your limits - whether it’s about how long you’ll stay at gatherings, or the kind of activities you’re willing to participate in.

For example, you could reply to a family invitation by saying something like, “We’d love to join for dinner but will have to leave by 8 pm so the kids can get to bed.”

Clear boundaries ensure everyone is on the same page, and you don’t have to feel any unnecessary guilt.

2. Create a flexible family plan

Every parent knows that kids thrive on routine, so try to stick to one, even during the holidays.

Sit down with your kids at the beginning of the school holiday and create a flexible daily schedule together that includes limits on screen time, ideas for outside and inside activities, and chores. You can also organise play dates with friends, and some family outings.

By getting them to participate in the planning, they will feel included, and you can manage their expectations.

3. Don’t overcommit - it’s okay to say no

If you do have a few days off, it’s tempting to say yes to every event, but spreading yourself too thin leads to exhaustion. Prioritise events and tasks that truly matter to you and your family. Remember, you’re not obligated to attend every gathering or participate in every activity. Saying “no” to less important commitments leaves space for more meaningful connections.

It’s okay to simply stay home with your partner, and enjoy some quality time together. You don’t have to be ‘busy’ all the time. Sometimes the most simple experiences are the most memorable. A little braai on a summer’s day with you and your partner and the kids, a family movie night, or a trip to the beach if you’re near the coast.

4. Divide and conquer responsibilities

Holidays often mean more cooking, cleaning, and hosting. Make sure you share the load with your partner, kids, or other family members.

When you’re putting your family calendar and entertainment schedule together, assign age-appropriate chores to the kids. And if you’re hosting events, ask everyone to contribute towards the meal… they can bring a side or a dessert, or meat to braai. You don’t have to provide everything for everyone.

5. Budget wisely and stick to it

Overspending during the holidays is one of the biggest sources of stress. If you’re lucky enough to get a bonus, try to invest it wisely. Think ahead to the next year – are there any big expenses you might need to save for? How about school fees and stationery? Maybe your car needs a good service, or you have to do some maintenance at home.

We often like to see bonuses as ‘fun money’, and some of it could be put aside for a spoil or two, and it’s very tempting to just blow it all on fun and entertainment for the festive season. But investing it wisely now will save you a lot of stress in the next year.

For those who don’t receive bonuses, it’s even more important not to get carried away in a festive season spending spree. Set a budget at the beginning of the month and stick to it! And set boundaries with friends and family too. If it’s unrealistic to buy everyone a gift, consider only getting gifts for the kids.

And when it comes to activities, get creative with inexpensive ideas like picnics, family board games, or DIY crafts. Remember, the best memories are made when you spend quality time together, it’s not about how much cash you spend.

6. Practice self-care, take breaks and plan a date night!

While you’re putting in so much effort to make the holidays enjoyable for everyone else, don’t forget about yourself.

Schedule “me-time” to recharge - whether it’s a morning walk, yoga session, or a coffee date with a friend. Even small moments of self-care can help you stay centred and ready to tackle the chaos.

Don’t forget to plan some time for you and your partner to spend together. This could be a great opportunity to ask family or friends to help out with the kids so you can plan a special date night - just the two of you. Give yourself permission to make your relationship a priority. As I often remind couples, if you don’t plan it, it won’t happen.

7. Focus on gratitude and connection

In all of the chaos and socialising and events, take some time out to appreciate the special moments.

Reflect on what you’re grateful for and encourage your family to do the same. Think about all the ups and downs over the last year, and give yourself credit for everything you’ve done. It’s been a really tough year for many of us, but there have also been many valuable lessons learned.

Consider how you’re going to use those lessons to make next year a fulfilling and successful one.

The December holidays don’t have to be a source of stress. By setting boundaries, sharing responsibilities, and focusing on what truly matters, you can create a season filled with joy and special memories.

Wishing you all a peaceful, blessed holiday season.