Sex Addiction is a Very Real Disorder
Tiger Woods, Russel Brand, David Duchovny and Charlie Sheen are celebrities who all brought sex addiction into the spotlight.
What is sex addiction?
Although there are many definitions of sex addiction, it can be described as any sexual behaviour which becomes compulsive, interfering with the individual’s normal life, causing stress and tension in relationships with family and loved ones, and affecting their work environment.
Sex addiction has the same devastating consequences as other addictions
While it may not have the same neural response as drug or alcohol addiction, it has the same devastating consequences in the lives of sufferers.
There is no question that sex addiction is real, and it is something that affects thousands of people worldwide.
Sex addiction is not about sex
It stems from sufferers trying to compensate for something in their lives that is missing, like seeking comfort after being abandoned by someone they loved.
Addicts use sex to compensate for something in their lives which is missing. To treat it, they need to identify the trigger - go back to the root cause. Only then can addicts begin the road to recovery.
Sex addiction starts with an escalation in sexual behaviour
Individuals may be preoccupied with porn and masturbation, but it often progresses to voyeurism and exhibitionism. Sex addicts often cheat on their partners, putting their own health, and that of their family at risk.
The issue escalates further and further as they push boundaries and sex is their drug of choice.
Internet has led to an increase in instances of sex addiction
When people are looking for a release, or are seeking to fill a void in themselves, they turn to coping mechanisms that make them feel better. For some it can be alcohol, for others it is food and for others it is sex. The release of serotonin in the brain following orgasm can become addictive. It often starts with porn because it is so easily accessible on the internet. However, as with other drugs, the addicts seek more frequent and stronger ‘highs’ and so their behaviour escalates.
Sex addiction is treatable
Leandie believes that with the correct therapy, and a supportive environment, relationships between an addict and their family can be repaired
It is a very tough road, and it involves a lot of forgiveness and the rebuilding of trust, but Leandie has seen many successes. She strongly advises those who might be suffering from sex addiction, or those who can see themselves going down this path, to seek help.
Are you a sex addict?
- Do you feel that you have lost control of your sexual behaviour?
- Do thoughts of sex constantly enter your mind?
- Are you struggling to focus on daily activities because you’re preoccupied with sexual thoughts or sexual activities?
- Has your sexual behaviour ever caused relationship issues, or issues in your workplace?
- Do you find yourself seeking increasing ‘highs’ from your sexual behaviour – experimenting in things that you know might be harmful to yourself or your family?
- Has your sexual behaviour caused severe health consequences such as STD’s, HIV risk?
If you answered yes to any of these questions, you could be suffering from sex addiction, and should seek therapy before the behaviour escalates.
Support groups for addicts and partners
It is because of the conflicting information in the media, and the fact that this subject is considered so taboo that Leandie Buys has set up support groups for sex addicts and their partners.
Because this issue is so controversial, the partners often don’t have anyone that they can talk to. They feel lost and are afraid of being judged if they say anything to friends or family. Leandie realised after counselling many sex addicts that there was a huge need for their partners to have a safe place to share too.
For more information on support groups, contact Leandie.
By recognising the signs of sex addiction, seeking professional help, and approaching the journey towards healing with empathy and commitment, there is hope for rebuilding trust, intimacy, and a fulfilling relationship.
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Continue ReadingLeandie coordinates a weekly sex addiction support group every Monday evening in Port Elizabeth. The closed group is currently run for men only.
Continue ReadingSexology is a professional and specialised area of therapy which explores the many physical and emotional reasons for sexual difficulties.
Anyone who has experienced relationship or sexual difficulties for a long period of time would benefit from seeking professional counselling.
According to a recent study in the Journal of the American Medical Association, 3 out of 10 men, and 4 out of 10 women, experience sexual problems.